singing out the year

It’s not long until the girls all leave the dorm and head back to their real parents for the summer break. Some of them are returning in August, others are moving on or away.

We went out for supper last Monday (12th) and had a good farewell feast. I got up and sang a song, which I should explain a little. If you know the band Radiohead then you will know that they wrote a song called creep. The guitar chords are really simple and as such it’s easy to make up words to fit the tune; which is what I do. These made up songs have been fondly named the rubbish lyrics songs and have been played at different times in the dorm. Well on Monday with lyrics already written (usually I just sing whatever comes into my head) I went on tour and gave an exclusive solo performance. The girls really liked it and I did too, so here’s the song; if you know the tune you could even sing it to yourself (if you’re reading this in an internet cafe then don’t start singing):

Here we are together at Biztro Restaurant
11 special daughters and 2 special sons

Let us take a moment to look back over this year
Emily and I have got a few words we’d like you to hear

Back in the beginning we were trying too hard
You couldn’t figure out these crazy English Imports

Over time you understood the way we were talking
We read about your culture, got to know you and kept praying

So we’ve been building, trying to show you in little ways
That we want to be you parents while your real ones are away

We flew off to Lombok; found you missed us being away
You couldn’t wait for us to get back, welcomed us in an amazing way

Now the year is over, almost time to say goodbye
But we don’t want to do that, we want to try...and stay in contact

Then next year we’ll be able to catch up
On where we left off, whether you’re here or not, we’ll still want to catch up

‘Cause you made us realise we’re one big family
We haven’t told you much but we really love you...and we’re going to miss you.

until next time, Paul.

Paul's visit to England

So last week (Wednesday 23rd April) I returned to England for a family wedding. I traveled alone, Emily and the boys stayed here in Indonesia, which meant they missed out on quite a lot, but it made my traveling a little simpler. It takes a long time to fly from Indonesia to England (about 15 hours flight time) and waiting around in departure lounges for several hours made me appreciate the size of our planet. It is often said that the world is becoming smaller, but until it shrinks one day in the wash it remains a jolly big lump of rock to fly around.

“Oddly familiar” I answered.

I had been met at the airport by my in laws and taken to their house to find my feet (literally, I needed to loose the flip flops and put on my snow boots ready for a week in England) and have a cup of tea. I chose coffee instead and sat in front of the open fire with the wood gently hissing and crackling.

“How does it feel to be back then” was the question. And it felt like I could have been sitting there having a cup of coffee last week, as if Indonesia didn’t exist, that I’d not just flown half way round the world; it was oddly familiar, I wasn’t sure how it should feel.

My week was busy; the wedding was on the Saturday, Thursday and Friday were spent preparing, Sunday there was a blessing then I talked at two churches, Monday shopping, Tuesday I had breakfast in York then back through Manchester to pop into the office and finally on Wednesday I went to the airport and nestled into economy class for the long trip home.

Home?

I thought a lot about home during this visit. Was I returning home when I flew to England or when I flew to Indonesia? I found as the week went on that it felt like home, but that I missed home, which mean that Indonesia is home, no wait if I felt at home in England then England would be home. The answer came to me as I was flying away from England on course for Indonesia. I now have two homes, two locations that are comfortable, familiar and where I have family.

Then the phrase ‘home is here the heart is’ popped into my head and I began to understand why I’d been an emotional wreck all week. I’d expected to miss my family and the girls, left behind in Indonesia and I also knew it would be hard to say goodbye to family and friends in England, but my emotions were a lot nearer the surface than I realized. There were several occasions when tears would come to my eyes or I’d find it hard to talk because of emotion. These times were not due to thinking about people I was missing, although there were times when that was the case, no, it was just a struggle to contain my emotions at the most unlikely times.

So now I had ‘home is where the heart is’ in my head and a lot of emotions sneaking up and shouting boo at ill timed moments, that’s when it hit me. My heart was in both places, England and Indonesia and while in the air my heart had been torn open slightly and my emotions were spilling out. It was incredibly hard saying goodbye, maybe harder than when we left England last August. I realized how much I missed the girls in the dorm and how they are my family in Indonesia, obviously Emily, Luke and Isaac are my family also, but I hadn’t realized how much I might miss the girls and how they are a part of my family. It was hard to talking with people about the two seniors who will be moving out of the dorm in four weeks time. It seems we’ve only just got to know them and we already have to let them go, it’s too soon, I want to get to know them more.

Now I’m home, in Indonesia, waving farewell to my other home, England. It’s really good to be back and the excited welcome from the girls bowled me over and being greeted and hugged by Emily, Luke and Isaac in the rain was perfect. I’ll catch up with all the jetlag another time; it’s time for me to get back to work now

Paul