and wait...

Hi Guys - I'm writing this through the bleary bloodshot eyes that conjunctivitis has left me with all week. Despite antibiotics, my eyelids still need prising apart in the morning after five days - after I've been led to the bathroom by a giggling Luke who is contemplating the mischeif he could play on a Mummy who can't open her eyes!
I've been at work all week doing my best not to infect anyone else (and succeeding so far) but the evenings have seen my lying on the floor in self pity with blissfully cold pads of cotton wool over my eves. I wonder if God's given me conjunctivitis to make me stop and have nothing to do in the evenings other than listen to radio four (my second home, I love it, but it has been rather dull this week) or pray. I've been opting for the latter and have been practicing "abiding in Him". It's been rather nice, just listening, and then it's 7am and time to get up again!
It's just dawned on me that we managed to miss our agm at church last night which will be why no one turned up for house group (duh!) - honestly, my head is somewhere else.
Pray -
that i will be able to have my eyes open beyond 8pm.
for luke and Isaac - they're coping well, but change is a coming
for stamina and wisdom
for money - we're at 65% - Praise for what He has already provided and praise for what he has promised. I don't know how He will provide, but I know He will.
That i will be able to get good things to do an a plane with two small boys with short attention spans to last 10 hours (help!) (or maybe just an ejector seat if things get too much).
Till then, praising Him, Em

I will wait...

I am determined that this blog does not get the better of me and that I update it just enough so that people don't give up on me and never check it again.

My knee (no picture this time) is marvellously recovered to the extent that I was even able to totter around on high heels last saturday as a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding. There was a slightly embassassing moment when I got the heel stuck in a grate in the church and had to abandon the shoe altogether to be recovered by my superstrong husband who was lurking nearby on usher duty. Fortunately the knee thing went in my favour, as those that had noticed the abandoned shoe assumed my knee was hurting, rather than the fact that I had managed to lodge the delicate cinderella slipper well and truely down a small hole, almost never to be seen again!

I don't think I mentioned our other small health issues as a family...Isaac spent a few hours in a&e a fortnight ago having his head stuck back together after a friendly horsey ride went wrong. He is well recovered now, although we are still picking glue out of his hair (yuk!)

And last week, pretty much out of no where (or possible the result of a mountain bike tumble a month ago) Paul almost lost the use of his left arm and was diagnosed with tendonitis by our lovely friend Liz who's a physiotherapist. Fortunatley (thank you God), he has recovered pretty quickly and seems to be almost back to normal (although maybe press ups will have to wait a while!).

Oh and Indonesia...we spent last week training in Manchester which was brilliant - we learned a lot about culture shock (help!), the American school system and we spent quite a bit of time studying the good book and working out how to prepare a sermon (even more help!) should we ever be called upon for such a thing.

I finally shook off the double life at work and came clean about our plans this week. I had talked about it as a possibility so it wasn't a major shock and everyone was very encouraging (although there was enough wailing to make me think they'd actually prefer me to stay).

I have been declaring left right and centre that I am scared. I am not going to do that any more becuase God has been having stern words with me about it. He says that (according to the lovely Lou Fellingham) "Our confidence is not our ability, nor in the earthly strength that we hold" and I am reminded that this whole thing is actually about Him and that I am not called to change the world but simply to trust in Him. Our funding is up to about 65% now which is a miracle in itself but we still need more for us to go (£600 per month) . I have handed my notice in at work and I know He is faithful and I'm learning to be confident in that. I am learning that I don't have to run and wear myself out trying to fund raise in my own strength - I am not complacent but I am trusting that He will do the work that He has promised. So in the words of another song by Lou Fellingham, "I will wait, I'll wait, I will wait, I'll wait for You. I will say of the Lord He is my refuge. I will say of the Lord He is my strength." (and I'll try not to make you wait too long for the next blog!)

And the beat goes on...

Today is Tuesday 27th March. I'm quite scared; In a human kind of a way. In the kind of way that is overwhelming when you think about the enormous list of things that need to be done in the next..oh...8 weeks. To name a few - fundraising, sorting, packing, working, organising church stuff blah blah blah. My mind starts zoning out when the list reaches about 5 things, I'm sure yours does to. In a true English fashion, I'm having a moan (apparently one of the things we English do rather well) becasue with all these things I have opted (?) to make a real challenge out of them. By that, I mean to confess that I did something rather embarrassing last week - something I've not done for at least 10 years - I fell off my bike. What has changed since the lst time is that noone stopped to help me :(


In true Bowles (my family tends to delay ringing ambulances in the middle of the night for serious medical problems out of fear that the poor paramedics will be inconvenienced) / English reserve style (at the risk of being embarrassed) it took me more than 24 hours to make it to A & E (ER) by which time it all looked rather grim. I was prodded by a doctor and then by a consultant ("Hey there's this woman with a really sore knee...why don't you come and poke it to see how long it takes her to cry?"). Fortunately, there is no bone injury (thank you God) but there does seem to be some soft tissue damage, probably to the medial ligament. I'm under instruction, at home, waiting to see what happens when the swelling and bruising goes down. Basically, if it's fine it's fine, and if it's not it's back to square 1. So, we wait.


In the meantime my level of scared-ness is going up and down: Down when I am reminded that this is all for God and to that end He will be faithful and up when I start looking at the lists again or thinking about the practicalities of clearing the loft standing on one leg trying not to fall down the hatch. So the point of all this rambling is...ummm...ah yes, to share with you all the realities of our journey, of the call, so that you can come with us - hopefully in prayer as well as in my moaning (how typically English). Once again I'm drawn to Psalm 139, if you'll excuse the paraphrase..."you go before me, you're behind me, nothing is hidden from you".
To add, almost as an after thought...those of you who receive our newsletter will know about my breast lump (no pictures though, you'll be glad to hear) that was high on the prayer agenda last month...well, the tests show there is nothing to be worried about. No further tests necessary. Praise Him.
Thank you to all of you who have come on board with prayer and financial support - we really appreciate your involvement (my level of scared-ness is tempered by the knowledge of all that 'prayer noise' behind us).
Until next time, giving it all to Him.